


Won't Give Up On You

by siriuslywinchester



Series: J-Mag [7]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Completed, F1 - Freeform, Formula 1, Gen, McLaren, McLaren Honda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-05
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-03-10 15:13:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 18,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3295043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriuslywinchester/pseuds/siriuslywinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jenson has been allocated McLarens final seat for the coming season, and he feels pretty bad for Kevin.  He doesn't want to make the Dane feel unwanted so at the Christmas party, he heads outside to check if he's OK.  But Kevin soon begins to grow feelings for Jenson that are more than just brotherly.  Does Jenson feel the same and who else will find out about their feelings?</p><p>disclaimer:  completely fictional, or at least as far as i'm aware it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little story i wrote for [winterbreakprompts](http://winterbreakprompts.tumblr.com) prompt #1: Ice.
> 
> Kevin and Jenson venture out across the frosted McLaren lake, but will their laughter get them to the other side and back?

It was a couple of weeks after McLaren had announced that Jenson would be joining Fernando as driver for the 2015 season. He was back at the McLaren Technology Centre for the Christmas Party and anxiously seeking out his former team mate. He'd not seen Kevin since the day of the press conference and wanted to make sure that he was still doing OK. As far as Jenson could tell, Kevin had taken being demoted to third driver pretty well, but he was sure being dropped after just one season must have stung him a bit. 

He was about to give up his search, assuming that Kevin had chosen to head home to Denmark and his family than stay for the party, when he spotted the guy outside. He was sat on the fence that surrounded the lake, looking out at the moon and the stars. It was bitterly cold and snow had settled on the grass and pavements around the center. Kevin had a McLaren puffer jacket on and a beer glass clutched in his gloved hands, his dirty blonde hair, as always, perfectly quiffed. 

Jenson grabbed his coat and headed outside, slapping his hands on the younger mans shoulders, 

"How's it going, Magsy?" he asked as he perched on the fence beside him. 

Kevin turned to face Jenson with a dorky grin on his face. 

"Not actually that bad, considering," Kevin smiled, taking another swig of his beer, "Reckon we can skate on the lake?"

Jenson considered this for a while. The temperature hadn't reach above zero in a good week and the lake was only knee high at it's deepest. It probably was fairly well iced over.

"I'll try if you'll try," Jenson grinned, making this a challenge, "Last one to the other side and back pays for drinks!"

He stepped carefully onto the edge of the ice, listening for the tell-tale signs that it was going to crack under his weight. Nothing happened, so he daintily placed his other foot in front of him - slow and steady would win this race. 

Out of nowhere, Jenson saw legs suddenly fly into the air and heard Kevin land heavily on his back. Before he could turn to help, Jenson found Kevin sliding straight into his ankles and was barrelled over onto his backside. Neither of them could speak for laughing. Kevin was clutching his sides, tears streaming down his face. Jenson tried to get to his feet but the surface was too slippery and he ended up falling head first into Kevin's lap, both of them laughing so hard that no sound came out. 

After a few moments they had both calmed down and Kevin tried to stand, managing to get himself on all fours before Jenson pushed his legs causing him to spin off into the middle of the lake, his limbs flailing in all directions like Bambi from the Disney film. Jenson howled with laughter. He managed to grab some of the grass at the side of the lake and pull himself to the edge. Laying on his front and bending his knees, he pushed off from the edge and slid to join Kevin in the center of the lake.

Kevin had somehow managed to get to his feet and turned in time to see Jenson powering, headfirst, towards him. He tried to run out of the way but his shoes just slid across the icy surface, his body remaining in the same position. Jenson creased up again, and rolled over onto his back, trying and failing to slow himself. They both screamed, aware that they were going to collide. Jenson smashed into Kevin's legs who then crashed into a heap onto of Jenson, his squeal lost in more laughter.

And through the laughter they heard the horrifying sound of the ice cracking...


	2. Keeping Warm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a continuation from Jenson and Kevin falling into the ice for [winterbreakprompts](http://winterbreakprompts.tumblr.com) prompt #9: Keeping Warm
> 
> Kevin and Jenson manage to get their frozen little selves back inside the Technology Center, but the fun begins again while they try to warm up in the showers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (thanks to [Perfunctory_win](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Perfunctory_win) for the idea)

Shivering from the intense cold that was spreading through his body, Jenson stood. Thankful the lake was so shallow, he turned and grabbed Kevin under the armpits to pull him onto his feet. The ice was cracked around them and too delicate to take their weight, so they waded to the edge, breaking a pathway with their knees, urged on by the warmth inside of the Technology Center.

Jenson clambered up the bank, too weak to walk. He turned round and offer Kevin a hand onto the frozen grass that surrounded the lake. Crawling slowly, they made their way to the main entrance, neither wanting to walk through the Christmas Party in their current state.

"And what have you two been doing?" 

They were greeted by a bemused Fernando as they crawled through the automatic doors into the Center. He offered them each a hand and pulled them to their feet, looking them up and down with a raised eyebrow. Jenson staggered to the radiator, leaning heavily against it, wincing from the heat as his hands touched it. 

Kevin tried to reply to the Spaniard, but his jaws were shivering too much and he eventually found himself laughing again, the only reaction he seemed capable to make.

Now they were in the warmth of the building, their icy coats were thawing out and forming large puddles on the laminate floor,

"I think maybe you should not stand in the entrance like this," Fernando suggested, pointing down the corridor towards the changing rooms, "I think perhaps you need to shower."

The two man wobbled their ways down the corridor into the changing rooms, removing their coats as they went. They both stripped to their underwear, placing their clothing on the radiators that surrounded the room, hoping they would dry quickly. 

Kevin whipped his boxer shorts off and ran into the shower, squealing slightly as the hot water poured down onto him, burning his icy cold skin. A few seconds later, Jenson followed, slapping him playfully on the backside as he ran past.

After a couple of moments both men were feeling a lot warmer, but neither wanted to leave the heat of the showers,

"I can't believe you tricked me into that," Jenson said, a mischievous grin playing on his face.

"What!" Kevin replied, "You were the one who crashed into me!"

Both men laughed, seeing the funny side of their predicament now that they had heated up again, 

"i will get back you for this you know," Kevin said, trying to look as serious as possible by glaring at Jenson and forcing his mouth not to laugh.

"Oh yea? Not if i get you first," Jenson replied, launching himself across the floor of the showers into a sliding tackle. He grabbed Kevin round the waist, pulling him onto the floor and flipped him over so he could straddle his stomach. Pinning Kevin's arms to the ground he looked him in the eyes and asked, "Exactly how were you planning to get me back?"

Kevin lashed out with his legs, trying to wiggle out from underneath Jenson, laughing too hard for the movement to have any power. The shower water was flying across the room landing on their towels and drying clothing, splattering up the walls and onto the door. Jenson gripped Kevin's wrists harder, squeezing his thighs together around Kevin's torso so that he couldn't escape his grip. 

Their laughter turned to looks of shock as they heard the changing room door open. They stopped their wrestling and turned to face the man who walked in,

"Are you guys alr...", It was Fernando. He stopped in his tracks raising an eyebrow again, taking in the naked men sprawled in the middle of the floor, "Seriously, guys?"


	3. Winter Weather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another story with Jenson and Kevin getting into trouble at the McLaren Technology Center for [winterbreakprompts](http://winterbreakprompt.tumblr.com) prompt #10: Weather
> 
> Kevin and Jenson get slightly carried away with their training and end up with no way back to their hotel because of heavy snow fall.

Sometime after their adventure on the lake, Jenson and Kevin found themselves back at the McLaren Technology Center with Fernando. None of them had spoken about the evening of the Christmas party and Kevin was secretly hoping that Fernando had been too drunk to remember what had happened.

The three men were on exercise bikes, placed so that they looked out across the lake through huge windows which filled the side of the building. A light flurry of snow was falling from a greying sky that threatened a larger storm. Fernando was sweating and pedaling a lot slower than Jenson and Kevin who were both trying to out-do the other.

"Okay, I am done," Fernando conceded, stepping off the bike and gulping down water from his bottle, "You two are crazy!"

He wandered off in the direction of the showers, leaving the two men to their battle. Neither of them had challenged the other, but they both knew that they were racing. The first to stop or slow would be the loser - Kevin was determined he wasn't missing out to Jenson this time round.

Fernando returned after his shower, his hair still wet, dripping onto a towel around his neck. He watched his teammate speeding up to match the younger mans pace, the veins in his calf prominent from the effort he was making. He looked at Kevin, determination written across his face, his eyes focused ahead, not blinking,

"Are you two going to race all night? Look outside, the storm is coming!" he warned. 

Jenson grunted in response, a slight nod to the head. Kevin was too focused on his cycling and probably didn't even realise the Spaniard had spoken. 

The snow was beginning to fall heavier and it was settling on the ground outside. Fernando wasn't going to risk getting stuck here overnight so he shrugged, turning to leave,

"Just promise me you won't fall in the bloody lake again this time," he laughed, closing the door behind him and heading out towards his car.

The two men battled on, each focused on their rhythm, not wanting to look like they were giving up. Both of them were sweating profusely, their water bottles, now empty, had been discarded on the floor. 

They continued this way for sometime, neither speaking, until a security guard entered the room,

"You guys might want to seriously think about heading home," he said, pointing outside, "The snows building up, traffic reports aren't looking too great either!"

Jenson puffed out his cheeks, finally lifting his head to look out of the window. He was surprised to see just how bad the snow was. His feet stopped pedaling, and he placed them on the floor, staring opened mouthed at the scene outside.

"HA! I knew I'd beat you!" Kevin shouted, also stopping. He stepped off the bike and slumped to the ground, massaging his calves.

"Dude, look at the snow!" Jenson exclaimed, pointing towards the windows. 

Kevin glanced outside,

"We'll be fine, it's not that bad!"

"Kev, have you ever tried to get anywhere in the UK when it snows? The whole country stops," Jenson turned to the security guard, "Can you call us a cab?"

The security man strode off towards the main reception desk and Jenson toweled his face and hair. Kevin finished stretching and got to his feet, his back bones cracking back into an upright position, heading for a shower while Jenson finished his stretches.

Kevin had showered, and was half dressed by the time Jenson appeared.

"Security has tried ten different cab firms, they're all refusing to pick us up because of the weather," he told Kevin, stripping out of his cycling gear and stepping into a shower.

"What? How are we going to get back to the hotel?" Kevin asked, thinking about his hat and scarf back in his suitcase a good twenty miles away. His legs were fatigued from their race, there was no way he'd be able to walk it.

"There's some blankets and stuff in the stores, we'll probably just have to stay here overnight," Jenson replied, lathering himself with soap.

"Are you serious?" Kevin laughed, imaging them both sleeping on the floor in the gym like a school sleepover.

"Yea, run down to the stores and see what you can find while I rinse off"

Kevin headed out of the changing rooms and further down the corridor, eventually finding a door which had 'Stores' engraved onto it's plaque. He opened the door and flicked the light switch. The room was filled with McLaren F1 team merchandise, including blankets and spare clothing. Kevin grabbed as many blankets as he could find and two large tracksuits and headed back towards the shower room.

Jenson emerged as he approached, relieving Kevin of some of the things bundled  
in his arms,

"I reckon we should sleep on the sofas outside Ron's office, they're pretty comfy." he suggested.

Kevin agreed and they soon found themselves in the tracksuits, laying out as many blankets as they could to make themselves snug. 

As night fell, the snow persisted and the temperature of the Technology Center dropped. By this time on a normal day, the staff would have left and the heating would no longer be needed. The two men had turned out the lights and both lay awake, wondering if the other was asleep.

Kevin was shivering in his blanket cocoon, wishing he'd picked another jumper out of the store cupboard for extra warmth. He heard a shuffling noise beside him and realised that Jenson was moving towards him.

Without warning, Jenson scooped his hands under Kevin's body and moved him further toward the back of the sofa. He shuffled on to the sofa behind kevin, wrapping another blanket around them both, his arms eventually resting around Kevin's waist.

"Are you spooning me?" Kevin whispered, grinning in the darkness as Jenson's body heat spread over him, their feet entwining.

"Shut up and go to sleep," Jenson whispered into his ear, kissing the back of Kevin's neck before he lay his head on the blanket-pillow, snuggling in as tightly as he could, "Are you warmer now?"

Kevin closed his eyes, and linked his fingers between Jenson's, a smile fixed on his face,

"Yes, thank you!"


	4. Christmas Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after Kevin and Jenson have to spend the night huddled in blankets on the sofas in the McLaren Technology Center, Kevin wakes up and finds himself with unexpected feelings for his team mate.
> 
> After a long day of press for Jenson, the pair finally head to their homes, becoming enchanted by the lights of the town on their way.
> 
> Inspired by [winterbreakprompts](http://winterbreakprompts.tumblr.com) prompt #23.

Kevin awoke the following morning to find himself entangled in a swaddle of blankets, his body entwined with Jenson's. Their arms were wrapped tightly around one another, their bodies pressed together from their toes upwards. Kevin kept his eyes closed, breathing in Jenson's scent, appreciating his warmth. A small smile played on his face as he snuggled into Jenson's chest, his chest hair tickling his cheeks.

"Okay, I really don't want to know what is going on here, but Ron will be in any moment and I don't think he will be so indifferent."

The sudden voice awoke Jenson and both men began trying to unravel themselves from their cocoon as quickly as possible, resulting in them rolling off the sofa onto the floor. Jenson had landed on top of Kevin and it was some moments before they finally freed themselves from the blankets, Kevin partly winded from the impact. Jenson managed to clamber to his feet first, holding his hand out to help Kevin up. 

Once on his feet, Kevin rubbed his eyes, stretching his arms out so his shoulders popped. He looked at the man who had spoken, Fernando, sat on the sofa that Jenson had initially started sleeping on the night before. The Spaniard had a knowing grin on his face but said nothing as Jenson and Kevin gathered the blankets into a bundle.

"Jenson, I put your press suit in the changing room," Fernando said eventually, glancing theatrically at his watch, "You probably have about 15 minutes to make yourself a little more... presentable."

"Shit!" Jenson replied, dropping his bundle of blankets and beginning to run down the corridor, "I forgot about that."

As soon as he had left, Fernando started giggling. Kevin considered following Jenson down to the showers, his cheeks flushing a little as he thought about it. He could almost still feel Jenson's body against his own.

"You might want to get rid of these blankets," Fernando said to Kevin with a twinkle in his eye, "Rather than following him into the shower."

Kevin's thoughts snapped back to reality and, for want of something to stop him having to look Fernando in the eye, he began folding the blankets into a neat pile. Once the pile was complete, he took the blankets into the Technology Center gym, storing them in a locker for one of the cleaners to worry about at a later date.

\--

Kevin spent the day watching the press conference from the back of the room. As third driver he wasn't required to be there, but something was stopping him from heading home and it definitely wasn't the snow anymore. His stomach flipped every time Jenson smiled or caught his eye, and he found listening to the Brit speak was more relaxing than he'd realised before.

Once the days work was done and the daylight was beginning to fade, Fernando said quick goodbyes, wiggling his eyebrows at Kevin and Jenson as he left them together in the reception area of the center.

"I think we should probably head off too," Jenson said, "We don't want to be sleeping on the sofas here again tonight."

Kevin thought that, secretly, he wouldn't really mind that, but he nodded and followed Jenson into the cloakroom to grab collect their coats.

"How about we get a cab back to town and walk the rest of the way," Jenson suggested, "I bet you haven't walked through town when it's all lit up at night."

Kevin agreed, more for the thought of spending time with Jenson than for seeing the lights, and they both bundled themselves into the back of the taxi.

The ride into town was quick as there had been no snowfall that day and the roads had been cleared. They got out at one end of the main street, paying the taxi driver more than was necessary and started walking along, side by side. 

Kevin had to admit that the lights were quite something to see. Each lamppost had a different Christmas themed image made of bulbs attached to it, some of them appeared to be moving, and each shop had it's own little Christmas display inside the window. At the town square, just off the main street, there was a huge Christmas tree that towered above the buildings around it. It was filled with glittering lights and Kevin and Jenson stood below it awhile, admiring the sight, lost in the magic of the moment.

"Fancy an egg-nog to warm you up?" Jenson asked, breaking the silence as he pointed to a trailer at the side of the square selling hot food and drinks.

"Ergh, no way" Kevin said, fake-gagging at the thought of egg-nog, "What about mulled wine?"

They walked over to the trailer, purchasing the hot drinks and gripping them tightly between both hands to warm their fingers. 

They continued along the high-street in silence, sipping their drinks, thankful for the warmth. When they'd sat out to work the day before, neither of them had planned for being out in the cold, so their clothing wasn't really keeping them warm. The warmth of the wine was beginning to make Kevin feel sleepy as they neared the end of the street. The lights had been dazzling his eyes, making him fell dizzy as they passed by. 

At the end of the street, Jenson dropped his empty cup in a litter bin and turned to Kevin,

"You look tired," he smiled, moving closer to Kevin and wrapping his arm around the Dane's shoulders, "I'll walk you home."

Kevin glanced at the hand now draped over his left shoulder and smiled to himself, snuggling closer to Jenson and wrapping his own arm around the Brit's waist. They continued in silence, Kevin guiding the way to his house, too scared to start a conversation in case he said something to embarrass himself. 

Kevin felt comfortable in Jenson's arms. He hadn't really considered his team mate as anything more than a friend until their drunken night on the ice at the Christmas party. His feelings had overwhelmed him that night, but he'd tried to shut them down inside to convince himself he'd just been drunk. Walking along to his house now though, he could sense that Jenson felt the same and the happiness was bubbling up inside of him.

As they walked up the pathway to Kevin's front door, he removed his arm from around Jenson's waist and pulled his front door key out of his coat pocket. Jenson stopped a few steps before the door, allowing Kevin to unlock it whilst he waited. Kevin pushed the door open and stepped inside, turning to ask Jenson whether he'd like to come in for a drink, but before he'd managed to get the words out, Jenson was stood right before him. The Brit cupped Kevin's face in his hands and planted a careful kiss on his forehead before turning around and walking back down to the gate,

"See you tomorrow, Kevin, " he said, closing the gate behind him and starting back up the street, "Sleep tight!"

Kevin stood in the doorway, stunned and unable to speak, watching Jenson until he turned out of sight at the end of the street. He stepped further into his house almost in a daze, closing the door behind him. Walking into the lounge, he lifte his hand to his forehead to touch where Jenson had kissed him, grinning widely as he flopped down onto the sofa in a swoon.


	5. Letter in the Locker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin is nervous about seeing Jenson the next day, but luckily the Brit is in a meeting so Kevin slips past unnoticed to prepare for his morning on the simulator. When he opens his locker to dump his belongings, he finds an envelope addressed to himself and what is inside fills Kevin's heart with hope.
> 
> inspired by [lightsoutprompts](http://lightsoutprompts.tumblr.com) #128

Kevin climbed into his taxi to the Technology Centre full of nerves with what he was going to say to Jenson running through his head . His plan was to act as normal, a friendly 'Hello, How are you doing?' and then on with the day. If Jenson bought up the evening before he was willing to talk about it, but he didn't really know what Jenson's kiss had meant and he didn't want to come across as though he'd got the wrong end of the stick.

He'd spent the night cuddling his duvet, wishing it was Jenson's body that was pressed against him. Despite the fact he was in his central heated home, he couldn't shake off the feeling of cold that being in bed alone seemed to give him. When he'd finally fallen asleep, his dreams had been filled with flashbacks throughout the past year of kind and thoughtful things Jenson had said or done. Was there more to his actions even then or was last night just something that came with the romance of the evening? An innocent mistake.

He stepped out of the taxi and walked into the centre to see Jenson and Fernando disappearing into a meeting room with some businessmen than Kevin recognised as team sponsor representatives. It wasn't a meeting that Kevin needed to be involved in and he was scheduled to spend the day on the simulator. He walked past the meeting room, deliberately not looking through the wall windows, and headed to the changing rooms.

Kevin entered the changing rooms and placed his bag on a bench opposite his locker. He pulled his wallet, phone and ipod out of his jean pockets and zipped them into his rucksack on top of his gym gear. He turned around and pulled his locker door open ready to throw his bag inside and head out to the simulator, but inside the locker he found a envelope.

The envelope was addressed simply 'Kevin' in messy handwriting. He had a pigeon-hole at the Technology Centre but it was rarely used - fan mail went to one of the PAs and nobody important ever wrote directly to Kevin. He had no idea who would be writing to him, so he quickly tore open the envelope and pulled out the letter, throwing his bag into the locker and closing the door.

The letter contain a single sheet of paper, filled with the same handwriting that was on the envelope. Kevin looked down to the bottom of the paper and saw that it was signed by Jenson. A lump formed in his throat. He forced himself to swallow it down before he read the letter, sliding himself down to sit on the bench.

_Kevin,  
I'm sorry to have to write this, but I'm not sure I could have said this to your face without taking the mick or chickening out half way through._

_I'm writing to tell you how much fun I had with you as my team mate this past year. I want you to know that I'm honestly gutted that we're not going to be racing together this year, but I'm really happy that you're still with McLaren and that I will still get to see you day in and day out._

_In the past year you came from being almost a stranger to me, to being one of my greatest friends and I can not express how much I love having you in my life. I hope that, despite you no longer having the seat, we will still be able to be such good friends._

_The past couple of days made me realise something more, though. I care for you. A lot. At first I thought it was just paternal - that I was looking out for you because you're new to this thing, but I was wrong. Spending the night on that sofa with you, and then walking through town with all the lights shining in your eyes, it made me see you as more than just a younger brother figure in my life._

_I'm sorry if I offended you with that kiss last night. I'm not sure what came over me and I shouldn't have done that without telling you how I feel. Especially with just running off afterwards._

_Feel free to tell me to get lost if you don't feel the same, but I just wanted to get this out in the open._

_I think I'm really falling for you, Kevin Magnussen._

_Yours (if you want me?),  
Jenson B_

Kevin read through the letter twice, looking for the joke, waiting for the punchline to sink in, but nothing sprung out. It seemed like a genuine letter from Jenson, confessing his feelings.

A grin spread across Kevin's face and he began reading the letter again, absorbing every word, his heart beating so hard it would surely burst out of his chest. 

"Kevin!" a voice shouted from down the corridor, jolting Kevin back from the letter, "Kevin! Where are you, you were meant to be in the sim ten minutes ago!"

It was Eric. Kevin hastily stuffed the envelope in the bin and threw the letter on top of his bag in the locker. He shut his locker door and ran out of the changing rooms without locking it.

"I'm here, I'm here," he said, rushing into the corridor and joining Eric to head towards the simulator.

Several hours later, Kevin returned to the changing room eager to re-read the letter to remind himself of Jenson's feelings. He almost tore the locker door down with excitement, pulling his bag out. 

The letter was gone.

He patted the locker down to make sure it definitely wasn't inside. He ripped open his back, emptying the contents on the floor of the changing rooms to no avail. He opened the other lockers around his, searching them all but finding nothing. Finally he got onto his hands and knees, crawling beneath the bench to see if it was under there. 

Crawling out from the bench he began to wonder if he'd imagined the letter. Perhaps he'd been so wrapped up in his hopes of Jenson feeling the same way, that he had imagined the whole thing. He pulled himself up to sit on the bench, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He rubbed his forehead with his palms, stamping his foot in anger.

"Is this what you're looking for?" a Spanish accent shone through the words.

Kevin looked up to see Fernando stood in the doorway, the letter clutched between his fingers and a huge grin plastered across his face.

"It was on the floor. A very interesting read!"


	6. Secret's Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin is horrified that Fernando has read the letter but agrees to go for a drink that evening to get to know Fernando better. Little does he know that the Spaniard has invited somebody else and by turning up casually late he finds out the full truth.
> 
> inspired by [lightsoutprompts](http://lightsoutprompts.tumblr.com) #250

Fernando grinned at Kevin as he handed the letter back, patting him on the shoulder. Truth be told, Fernando had figured that there was something more to their friendship as soon as he'd moved over to the team. They were always laughing and joking together, teasing each other and competing. He had a feeling that he'd known they were into one other before either of them had realised.

Kevin was mortified. He'd been in such a rush to stop Eric shouting for him that he'd just thrown the letter on top of his bag and slammed his locker door closed, leaving it unlocked. The letter must have slipped off and fallen out of the door.

He gingerly plucked the letter from Fernando's fingers, feeling his cheeks flush hot. There was no way he could hide his embarrassment, though he made certain to look at the floor and try to turn his back on the Spaniard without looking rude. It wasn't that he was embarrassed that Jenson loved him, but he wasn't sure how he felt about somebody else reading the letter. If only he'd taken the time to put the letter in his bag, he thought, mentally kicking himself.

"Don't worry," Fernando said, noticing Kevin's face changing colour, "I won't tell a soul. Cross my heart."

Fernando crossed his heart with his finger and began picking up the clothing Kevin had pulled from his bag, folding them neatly and placing them on the bench. He wanted Kevin to know that he was fine with whatever it was that was going on between his teammates. In fact he wanted them to know that he was happy they'd finally got it out in the bloody open, but Kevin looked embarrassed and he was beginning to wonder if maybe Kevin didn't feel the same way as Jenson.

"How about we go for a drink tonight?" Fernando asked, "You and me, at The Castle Inn at 7? It's about time we got to know one another."

Kevin's face was still burning red, but he nodded and agreed that it would be nice to get to know the other man who was driving for his team. He knew that 'getting to know one another' would involve talking about the letter, but Fernando would only talk about it another time, so he might as well get it over with.

Fernando left Kevin to finish packing his things back into his bag and headed out into the lobby of the Technology Center. Jenson was still there, laughing and joking with some of the representatives that had attended the meeting as they were on their way out. He plastered a smile on his face and joined his team mate in waving them off.

"Pretentious assholes," he said through the gritted teeth of a smile.

Jenson laughed, slapping him on the shoulder as he turned round to head towards the toilets.

"Fancy a drink tonight, Jenson," Fernando said, before the Brit could get away.

"Yea, could do with one after that," Jenson grinned, "Where at?"

"Meet you at The Castle Inn at eight?" Fernando suggested, already planning to be half an hour or so late.

"Sounds great, see you later," Jenson called back as he rushed off to the toilet.

\--

Kevin arrived at the pub a few minutes before eight. He stood outside the door breathing deeply before entering, preparing himself for the talk with Fernando. It wasn't that he was scared of the Spaniard, but he didn't really understand his humour - he was very abrupt and sometimes his jokes made Kevin feel small and stupid.

He had just gripped the door handle to enter the pub when someone gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder.

"Alright, mate. What are you doing here?" 

It was Jenson. The letter immediately began burning a hole in Kevin's pocket. He'd bought it with him for hope that, if anything awkward happened, he could sneak off to the toilet and reassure himself with Jenson's words but now Jenson was here he thought he would probably be safe from Fernando's jibes.

"Hey," he smiled, blushing slightly, "Fernando invited me out of a drink."

"Ah, me too. Boys night out, eh?" Jenson grinned as he held the door open for Kevin and they walked together to the bar.

"Two pints of lager, please." Jenson said, ordering for the both of them, "Fernando can pay for himself."

He grinned cheekily at Kevin, and the Dane smiled back, brushing Jenson's fingers as he took the pint glass from his hand and took a sip. They moved to a table in a corner and slid around so they were sat side by side facing the door. Jenson looked at his watch, noticing that it was already gone eight.

"You know Fernando will be..." he started, but Kevin cut in.

"He found your letter."

Kevin didn't mean it to sound so blunt, but he needed Jenson to know that Fernando had read it before the Spaniard arrived. Jason turned to look at him, his mouth still half open from his own words. He closed his mouth slowly as Kevin continued.

"I was late for training in the simulator and I just threw it into my locker. It must have fallen out and then I couldn't find it and Fernando had it," he garbled the words out, "I didn't mean for him to find it."

"What did he say?" Jenson asked, sipping his lager to hide his nerves.

"Nothing really," Kevin replied, "Just that he'd not tell anybody. And then he invited me out for a drink..."

"And then he invited me... And didn't show up himself," Jenson added, wiggling his eyebrows.

Kevin laughed, blushing again, which caused Jenson to smile.

"So... Err. Did you read the letter?" Jenson asked, picking up his pint and leaning back in the chair in an attempt to look nonchalant. 

"I did," Kevin said, not sure how to reply, "It was. Ummm."

"Oh shit, Kevin I'm sorry. Ignore it, I'll tell Fernando it was a joke or something," Jenson said, feeling himself get hot under the collar.

"No. No!" Kevin said, leaning forward and taking Jenson's hand as he stared into his eyes, "It's fine. I... I mean. I feel the same."

As if by magic, Fernando burst through the pub door as Kevin finished his sentence.

"Sorry I'm late!" he grinned, noticing the pair quickly break apart, "Don't mind me. I'll go get myself a drink!"

He headed off to the bar, his insides feeling warm and fuzzy to see Jenson and Kevin holding hands and staring into each others eyes so adoringly. When he'd read the letter he'd first felt shocked, despite his gut feeling there was more ot their friendship. The more he'd thought about it though, the more he realised they made quite an adorable couple and seeing it finally fall into place before him made him oddly happy.

Back at the table, Kevin turned back to meet Jenson's eyes, his face red hot. Jenson laughed, shaking his head, knowing exactly what Fernando was doing.

"He's such a shit," he said as he poured the last of his pint into his mouth and turned to shout at Fernando, "Oi! Get me another!"

"I mean it," Kevin said quietly so that only Jenson could hear, "I feel the same. I missed you last night. After cuddling together the other night, it was nice. I. I felt safe. Like with fit together. I wanted you to keep me safe last night. To kiss me properly."

Kevin stopped and looked at Jenson to gauge his expression. The Brit was staring at his hands, his face looked calm and controlled. He took a deep breath in before he lifted his eyes to look at Kevin.

"I think we should take things slowly," Jenson said, "I've never ... done this kind of thing before. I... I need to be sure."

Kevin nodded, smiling because he was thinking the same thing.

"Maybe we should go on a date sometime," Jenson suggested, "Somewhere where it's just us. Like a walk somewhere."

"Yea, lets do that," Kevin said, grinning, "Let's do it this weekend?"

"What are we doing this weekend?" Fernando asked, placing three pints on the table grinning mischievously, "Or is it lovestruck puppies only?"


	7. Third Wheel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenson gets everybody drunk and Fernando opens up to reveal his feelings.
> 
> inspired by [lightsoutprompts](http://lightsoutprompts.tumblr.com) prompt #203.

Fernando's companions looked at each other awkwardly as he sat back down in his chair. While he was stood at the bar, he'd been watching the pair talk, deliberately giving them time to get their feelings out in the open. He laughed at the looks on their faces.

"Chill out guys," he said, "I honestly don't care what you two get up to. And I'm definitely not going to intrude on your date plans."

Kevin flushed bright red at the talk of dates, looking down at the drink Fernando had bought him to avoid eye contact. Fernando smiled to himself, knowing the feelings that must be going on in Kevin's head. He had watched their friendship bloom from afar. He'd seen the hugs, the quick looks when the other wasn't watching, the smiles when in each others company. 

When Fernando had first joined McLaren and spent time with the Jenson and Kevin at the press conference, he could almost feel the electricity between them. He could tell that they were both too scared to bring their feelings out in the open but he hoped that now, perhaps, they'd feel a bit happier about it.

"You've both felt like this a while, huh?" he said, looking between Jenson and Kevin, who were both staring at the table in front of them.

Kevin nodded his head, not looking up. Jenson didn't move for some time, but eventually shrugged his shoulders, moving back in his chair and finally meeting Fernando's eyes.

"What are you trying to say?" he asked, still unsure what Fernando's motives were.

"Nothing," the Spaniard replied, quickly, "Just that it's OK to have these feelings. That I support you and want you both to be happy, rather than tippy-toeing around one another, hearts breaking each time you miss a chance to reveal your true feelings."

Kevin lifted his head up, his brow furrowed as he examined Fernando's face, searching for any signs of sarcasm or teasing. The man before him just looked solemn, almost pensive, like he had felt the same way before and knew the heart ache.

The men sat in silence for sometime, drinking their pints and thinking about their true feelings and what they wanted most. Kevin looked deep into his lager, watching the bubbles on the top pop quietly and get replaced by another. Jenson looked between Kevin and Fernando, trying to think of something to say that would show them both how he felt and how scared he was at the new feelings he was experiencing. Fernando's face seemed to be growing darker. The smile was still lingering, but it was overshadowed by the look of sadness in his eyes.

"I think we need some shots," Jenson declared, breaking the silence as he jumped out of his seat, causing Kevin to jump, "Lighten this up a bit, hey."

He smiled as walked off to the bar, wondering what was running through Fernando's mind and hoping that a bit more alcohol might make the whole situation a little bit easier to talk about.

"He is a good guy," Fernando said to Kevin as the Brit walked toward the bar.

"I know," Kevin replied, "He's been really good to me this year. It's been tough, but he was always there to help."

They both looked across at Jenson who was leaning on the bar, chatting to the barman as he poured shots.

"And he has a nice ass," Fernando said, grinning as he looked back at Kevin, some of the spark returning to his eyes.

Kevin smiled, looking back at Jenson's behind. He tried to imagine what it would feel like to spoon Jenson, but his thoughts drifted back to a few nights before and he quickly decided he preferred to be little spoon.

Jenson returned, bringing Kevin back from his daydream as he placed a tray of fifteen shots on the table - three sets of five different colours.

"Right," he said, laughing at the surprised look on Kevin's face, "Last one to shot them all has to answer any questions he's asked honestly for the next ten minutes. Three, two, one, Go!"

Jenson grabbed his first shot, necking it quickly and easily beating the other two through the rest. Kevin spluttered on his first shot, but grabbed one in each hand and almost threw the remaining four down his neck. Fernando was last to place his fifth empty glass back on the table.

"Aha!" Jenson exclaimed, a huge grin on his face as he winked at Kevin, "Right then, Nando. How is _your_ love life going?"

Kevin grinned back at Jenson, turning to watch the Spaniards face turn pink beneath his beard. His eyes quickly dropped to the glasses before him as though silently cursing them for the sudden turn in conversation.

"Well... Errr," he stammered, trying to buy some time, "I. Errr. It's been about... A while since... You know, I mean the past year has been lonely."

The past year had been tough for him. Not only had his team not been performing as well as he'd expected but he'd felt an emptiness in his head and heart that he'd never experienced before. He'd moved to McLaren for a re-start - hoping to move onward and upwards and forget about the past year.

"You mean since Webber left," Jenson joked, "We all miss him but..."

Jenson cut his words off abruptly, noticing Fernando's face darken and his eyes change - was it anger or hurt that he saw flicker across them? Fernando didn't speak, silently picking up the empty shot glasses one by one and flipping them over. 

"You and Webber?" Jenson eventually said, wondering if he should insist on carrying on with his game or whether this was something more serious now.

Fernando looked up into Jenson's eyes and the Brit could see that they were watery. He'd been friends with Fernando and Mark for as long as he could remember and knew that the pair of them were close but Mark had Ann so what was this really about?

"No," Fernando said, his voice sounding choked, "It was unrequited, I guess you would say."

He returned to silently flipping shot glasses over and Kevin caught Jenson's eyes, giving him a questioning look. Jenson shrugged back at him before carefully pressing Fernando for more information.

"You mean you were in love with Mark?" he said, quietly, the vodka in him wanted all the gossip and giving him the confidence to ask.

Fernando nodded and looked between Kevin and Jenson, a sad and embarrassed look on his face.

"Yes. And then he left formula one and he never knew," Fernando said, turning to Jenson with pleading eyes, "Please don't tell him this."

Kevin gaped at Fernando as Jenson nodded and agreed he wouldn't tell anybody. He tried to imagine how he would feel if Jenson had a girlfriend, but the words of the letter still rang through his heart and prevented it.

"Just promise me that you will be honest with each other," Fernando continued, "You both care for one another and I think there is more. Don't rush it or force it but be honest so that your hearts won't weigh heavily if you lose contact."

Jenson leaned forwards and grabbed both Fernando and Kevin's hands in his own. The bell for last orders rang at the bar as he squeezed their hands with his fingers. He wanted Kevin to know how much he adored him and he wanted Fernando to know he was sorry for bringing this up, but he had no idea how to say these words out loud, so he hoped the gesture said it for him.

Both men looked him in the eyes, Kevin grinning fondly and Fernando smiling sadly. Jenson leaned back in his chair again, releasing Fernando's hand and rubbing his thumb across Kevin's knuckles before picking up his half finished pint.

"So anyway, what do you boys want for Christmas?" he said, trying to cheer up the conversation.

"I bet Kevin wants to see you wrapped just in Christmas paper," Fernando chirped in, his sense of humour returning quickly.

Kevin blushed, his mind racing for something witty to say back.

"I'd prefer a perfectly placed bow," he said, causing Jenson to blush and Fernando to throw his head back in laughter, "What about you Jense?"

"I dunno mate," Jenson said, shrugging, "A new bike maybe?"

"Aah, so you will have him wrapped in lycra, Kevin," Fernando said, nudging Kevin with his elbow, "Then you can really check out his ass!"

Kevin and Fernando laughed together and Jenson got to his feet to turn round and wiggle his bottom at them. 

"Closing in ten minutes!" the barman shouted, causing Jenson to turn back around and pull his phone out of his pocket.

"I'll call a cab," he said, dialing the number for the local taxi firm.

The men moved outside as the pub closed and Fernando hugged both Jenson and Kevin as he left to walk home, kissing them both on the forehead in a fatherly way.

"Don't forget, we're training tomorrow, Jenson!" he said, waggling his finger as he walked away, "Don't keep him up all night, Mr Magnussen!" 

Kevin laughed and Jenson turned back to him, pulling him into a warm cuddle while they waited for the taxi.

They stayed in the embrace until the taxi arrived, when the both clambered into the back seat. Jenson kept a tight hold on Kevin's hand until the car pulled up at Kevin's door. 

"Hey," Jenson said, as Kevin was about to climb out of the door, "I know you're not in work tomorrow so how about I pick up up at ten on Saturday. I'll think of something nice to do. Just the two of us."

Kevin turned to face Jenson, one hand still on the door handle. He leaned in to plant a gentle kiss on Jenson's cheek.

"Sounds like a date," he whispered, before opening the door and stepping out of the taxi, giving Jenson what he hoped was a fairly decent attempt at sexy eye contact.


	8. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenson picks a nervous Kevin up on the Saturday morning and they head out on their first date. 
> 
> a tiny part of this was inspired by [lightsoutprompts](http://lightsoutprompts.tumblr.com) prompt #74.

The following Saturday, as the clock neared ten, Kevin found himself pacing nervously up and down the lounge waiting for Jenson to arrive. The Brit had text him earlier that morning telling him to dress warmly and wear suitable shoes, so he was wearing two jumpers, a scarf, a hat, his gloves, a thick pair of jeans over thermal pants, two pairs of socks, his winter coat and his wellies. He was sweating half to death as he paced in his central heated home.

The clock ticked slowly past ten, and Kevin began jumping every time he heard a car driving down the street. He stopped pacing - not wanting to be looking out of the window when Jenson pulled up - and sat down on his sofa. He pulled his gloves off, but quickly decided to put them back on again in case his date arrived suddenly.

About quarter past ten, the familiar sound of a car slowing and stopping in front of his drive pulled Kevin from a horrible day dream in which Ron Dennis found them on the date and went absolutely livid. The car horn beeped and Kevin jumped to his feet, scuttling to his front door and fumbling with the keys to unlock it.

He took a couple of deep breaths before opening the door, smiling and waving at Jenson and then turning to lock the door behind him. It was all he could do to stop himself from running to the car - which was probably a good thing as he slid down the pathway to the gate in his slippery wellies.

He opened the passenger side door of Jenson's car and bundled himself into the seat, turning to grin at Jenson.

"Morning," he said, pulling his hat from his head and unzipping his coat, "It's quite warm out."

Jenson laughed. His coat, scarf and gloves were in the back seat and he had the heating in the car right up so it would be toasty for the drive.

"You might wanna take your coat off," he suggested, "We've got a bit of a drive to go."

Jenson didn't give out any clues as to where they were going, but Kevin struggled for a few moments to escape from his coat before throwing it onto the back seat. He noticed that there were two rucksacks and two sets of walking poles in the back.

"We're going for a hike?" he asked, pointing at the objects.

"Indeed we are," Jenson replied as he put the car in gear and pulled back onto the main road, "Not a very long one, but somewhere with a nice view and a picnic spot."

"Only a Brit would go on a picnic in this weather," Kevin laughed, immediately feeling more relaxed.

"It's perfect picnic weather, thank you very much!" Jenson said, as he turned the stereo up so that Christmas songs filled the car.

Kevin sat in silence a while, enjoying Jenson's presence and trying to figure out where they were going from the directions they were driving.

"It's nice that we have a few weeks off for Christmas now," Jenson said, breaking the silence as he pulled onto the motorway, "Looking forward to chilling out a bit."

Kevin nodded, letting a brief hum escape his lips in agreement.

"I'm heading back to Denmark on Monday," he replied, looking out of the window at the snow covered trees that were rushing by, "I'll be there until Barcelona."

"You're not coming out to Jerez?" Jenson asked, glancing across at the Dane.

"No, I don't think I'm needed," he replied, "Just got to keep training while I'm home and then maybe I'll get a run in Barcelona if you and Fernando are getting to grips with the car."

Jenson nodded. He was already anxious about the new car. He hoped it would be quick and that the transition from Mercedes to Honda would be smooth, but he knew that was unlikely. He was trying to stay positive, for the sake of the media and sponsors more than anything, but there was still a little niggle about whether he should have called it a day and moved onto something new in the back of his mind.

Eventually, Jenson pulled off the motorway and onto some twisting country roads, driving slowly as they'd not been gritted. Thankfully the road was fairly flat so they had no major issues and parked in a car park beside a lake.

"We're not going ice skating again are we," Kevin asked as he unbuckled his seat belt.

"No!" Jenson laughed, twisting round his seat to grab their coats and dropping Kevin's on his lap, "This time the lake is just for the pretty view."

Kevin heaved a sigh of relief and jokingly wiped his brow. He pulled his hat back onto his head and pushed his arms into his coat, zipping it right up to his scarf before opening the car door and stepping out into the Winter cold.

Jenson climbed out of the drivers seat and opened the rear door to grab the back packs, walking around the car and handing one to Kevin.

"Sorry, you've gotta carry one too!" he grinned, "Do you want a walking pole?"

Kevin glanced around and noticed that everything in the near distance was relatively flat.

"I think I'll be alright, thanks," he replied.

Jenson locked the car and stuff his car keys into his coat pocket, walking towards a trail that lead away from the car park. It was only clear because of the amount of people who had walked through the snow before them. There were several sets of footprints leading both ahead and back towards the carpark, so they followed them into some woodland, where it become more obvious to see the track that they were to follow.

They walked side by side, both feeling the heat of exercise in their layers of clothing. Kevin wondered what kind of food Jenson had packed into the rucksacks and hoped that it was something warm. 

As they emerged from the other side of the woodland, Jenson walked closer to Kevin and eventually their elbows bumped.

"Sorry," Kevin said out of habit, trying to lift his wellies fully out of the snow as he walked so that he didn't trip and fall - he was secretly wishing he'd opted to bring the poles so he could use them to help him walk through the snow.

Jenson didn't reply, moving even closer in so that their whole arms touched. He reached out until he could feel Kevin's hand and groped about until he could slip his fingers through the Dane's and grip their hands together. 

Kevin looked down at their gloved hands, held tightly together and smiled happily. It had been a long time since he'd walk in public holding somebodies hand and it felt good, even if there was a lot of material between their skin.

Absently he began to grin, lifting his head slightly higher at the pride of Jenson wanting to hold his hand as they walked. He began swinging his arm a little, Jenson's arm following as their fingers gripped tighter together. The Brit laughed and Kevin realised what he was doing, stopping the motion and flushing beneath his scarf and hat.

Jenson grinned at his embarrassment, beginning to swing their arms again, this time getting higher and higher until he flung them over Kevin's head and the Dane had to spin around to stop his wrist snapping, slipping on the snow and falling into Jenson's arms. 

Seemingly out of nowhere, Jenson pulled out a sprig of mistletoe and held it above their heads, looking deep into Kevin's eyes and leaning forward. As their faces drew closer, they both closed their eyes and their lips joined gently. Kevin could taste the minty toothpaste that the Brit had used that morning as he pressed his mouth harder onto his companions, opening his lips slightly to run his tongue along Jenson's.

Jenson's arms dropped, the mistletoe falling from his fingers into the snow as he moved his hand so that his fingers could run through Kevin's hair underneath his hat. Pulling him further in, he opened his mouth so that he could tangle his tongue around Kevin's. He let out a quiet moan, his stomach filled with butterflies that were dancing to the beat of his pounding heart. 

Reluctantly, he pulled away from Kevin, catching his breath and blushing as he looked at the ground. It was their first kiss, and Kevin was staring at him, his mouth still partly open, his eyes twinkling with happiness. It was just as perfect as Jenson had imagined it would be.

"It's not much further," he said, slipping his fingers through Kevin's again, "I'm starving. I hope you like soup!"

Kevin began walking again, trying not to slip as he rubbed his tongue along his lips where Jenson had kissed him. He had wanted to do that all week but not had the courage. He'd spent the night before wondering what it would be like to kiss Jenson, using the back of his hand to practise in case he'd forgotten how, himself.

They came to a stop at a picnic table a little further ahead, dropping their bags on the top and turning to look out across the lake. The water, partly iced over, stretched out in either direction as far as the eye could see, but directly opposite, it was enclosed by snow covered trees and hills, making it look picturesque.

Jenson unzipped one of the bags and Kevin discovered that it was filled with blankets. He placed two on either side of the table, laying one on the bench at his side and wrapping the other around his shoulders. Kevin followed suit, hooking his leg over the edge of the picnic table so that he could sit down.

"You actually thought through our trip in the cold this time," Kevin laughed, thinking back to the freezing sensation that had shocked his body when they'd fallen into the lake at McLaren not so long ago.

Jenson laughed as he unzipped the other rucksack and pulled out several flasks and something wrapped in aluminium foil. These were followed by two plastic bowls, mugs and spoons.

"Tea?" he asked, pouring himself a mug of steaming liquid.

"You're so British," Kevin laughed, nodding and pushing his cup towards Jenson.

The Brit poured Kevin a mug full of tea and replaced the cap on the flask.

"Okay, so I have tomato soup, leak and potato and winter vegetable," Jenson said, unwrapping the foil, "And lots of bread."

"You have been busy," Kevin replied, impressed with selection, "Did you make them yourself?"

"No!" Jenson laughed, "All Heinz. I did heat them myself though, so I did put in a bit of effort. Which do you want first?"

Kevin silently performed 'eeny-meeny-miney-mo' in his head and finished on leak and potato. He pointed to the flask and let Jenson pour a large serving into his bowl. The soup was still piping hot, and Kevin pulled his gloves off and wrapped his hand around the plastic bowl, enjoying the heat as it stung the underside of his hand.

Jenson tore a chunk of bread free and dipped it into Kevin's bowl, placing his other hand underneath and moving the bread the now dripped with soup towards Kevin's mouth. The Dane grinned and opened his mouth, tilting his head slightly as Jenson placed the bread in his mouth. 

A drip of soup dropped onto Kevin's chin and Jenson wiped it away with his finger, licking the spillage as he watched Kevin chew the bread.

"Any good?" he asked, reaching for the tomato soup flask and pouring himself a bowl.

"Delicious," Kevin replied, tearing himself another piece of bread. 

Now that they were eating they realised how hungry they were and the warmth of the soup was making them both feel nice and cosy wrapped in their blankets. Jenson picked up his bowl and moved to sit beside Kevin, snuggling in and wrapping half of his spare blanket around them both. Kevin leaned in, resting his head on Jenson's shoulder and the Brit wrapped his arm around Kevin's waist, his thumb stroking his hip lightly.

"I'm going to miss you when I'm back home over Christmas," Kevin whispered.

"You could always stay," Jenson replied, "I'm sure my Mum wouldn't mind cooking for you as well as me and my sisters."

"Thanks," Kevin smiled lazily, reaching for the bowl and drinking some of the soup, "But my parents are expecting me. I'm an only child, so they'll feel lost without me there."

"Well we can still chat," Jenson replied cheerily, placing a delicate kiss on the top of Kevin's head, "We can facetime and call each other."

Kevin nodded, hoping that perhaps his parents had finally got a decent internet connection. Their house was in the middle of nowhere, so the internet was forever cutting out, and the only place in the house where mobile phones would send or receive texts was the bathroom.

"Or we could just stay here forever," he said sleepily, turning in to cuddle closer to Jenson's body.

He let out a long sigh of happiness as he closed his eyes, not seeing the huge grin the split across Jenson's face.


	9. The Chauffeur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the picnic date, Kevin is preparing to head home to Denmark and decides upon his New Years Resolution. Little does he know that he might get a chance to act upon it before the day is out.

The day following their date passed in a blur of day dreams and chores for Kevin and he soon found himself tucked back into bed feeling guilty for having not finished packing and wrapping Christmas presents. He would have time the following day, but he knew he would struggle to get out of bed if his dreams of the date continued for a second night.

Kevin had dreamed that he'd had the confidence to kiss Jenson, pushing him up against his car after they had returned to it at the end of the date. 

In reality, when the pair had arrived back at Jenson's car, it was almost dark and the ground was beginning to freeze. Kevin had wanted the warmth of Jenson to take over him one more time, but he had chickened out of making a move and he regretted that.

Jenson had driven Kevin back to his house and they had wished each other a 'Merry Christmas' before parting. Kevin had hoped that the mistletoe might make another appearance, but they had just hugged awkwardly across the car, the gear stick jutting into Kevin's stomach. It wasn't that Kevin felt disappointed by this, but he had been hoping to be able to take the memory of one more kiss away to last him the Christmas break.

Kevin woke late the morning of his flights home and forced himself to leave the warmth of his duvet to have a shower. He hummed to himself as he washed, secretly wishing that in reality he'd had the confidence that he seemed to have in his dreams. He decided that his new years resolution should be to work at his confidence around Jenson, though when they next saw each other it would be back at work and he wasn't really sure how they were going to get around that yet.

After his shower, Kevin started to panic about being late for his flight and began throwing things into his case. He bundled the presents for his parents in with his clothing, deciding it would be better off if he left them to wrap when he arrived in Denmark. As an after thought he pulled one of his old stuffed toys out of a cupboard and added it to his luggage, knowing he'd probably want something to cuddle at night after spending so much time in Jenson's arms.

He was struggling down the stairs with his case, trying to remember the telephone number for the local taxi rank, when there was a knock on his front door. Assuming it was door-to-door salesmen, he silently slid down behind his case to hide from the view of the door.

"Kevin, mate, I can still see you, you muppet," a voice said as the letter-box flapped open.

Kevin blushed, immediately recognising the English accent he'd grown to adore. He stood up, pushing the case towards the wall and twisting the key in the lock, breathing deeply to calm himself down. As he opened the door, he had to force his grin into a simple smile for fear of looking too excited.

"Hey Jenson," he said, the grin losing control and splitting across his face, "Sorry I thought you were a salesmen."

"Well I _have_ come to offer you my services," Jenson said, "Free of charge, of course!"

Kevin raised an eyebrow, a slight flush hinting across his cheeks.

"Not like that, you perv," Jenson laughed, "I meant to drive you to the airport!"

Kevin joined in the laughter, trying to hide his embarrassment at assuming Jenson had meant something more. He forced himself to say something confident and stop giggling and blushing like a school-girl.

"I was just about to call a taxi, actually," he said, "But you can be my chauffeur if you like."

"Great!" Jenson said, "Let's go then!"

Jenson spun on his heels and headed for the car but Kevin cleared his throat with a loud 'ahem' which caused him to turn around.

"My normal chauffeur carries my luggage to the car," Kevin grinned as he pulled his coat on and dropped his case onto the pavement outside his door.

Jenson laughed and shook his head, continuing away from the door, leaving Kevin to drag the case through the snow and lift it onto the back seat. He slid into the drivers seat and waited for Kevin to climb in beside him before switching the engine on.

"You know, the chauffeur also normally opens the door for me too," Kevin said, "I feel that perhaps you should stick to racing."

Jenson laughed, his eyes lighting up as Kevin fastened his seatbelt. As soon as he heard the click, he floored the accelerator and sped out of the street and onto the motorway in the direction of the airport.

"This is more like it," Kevin laughed, enjoying the look on Jenson's face as he concentrated on the road ahead of them.

When they arrived at the airport, Jenson parked in the 'short stay' car park and climbed out of the car to walk into the terminal with Kevin. He grabbed a carrier bag from the car boot and presented it to the Dane after he had checked-in.

"Merry Christmas, Kevin," he said as he held the bag before him, smiling.

Shocked and touched, Kevin took the bag from Jenson's hand and peered inside. The present was wrapped in colourful paper that was filled with Christmas related words. 

"And you're not allowed to open it until Christmas day," Jenson warned as he noticed Kevin prodding the gift.

"I didn't get you anything," Kevin mumbled as he bent down and tucked the present into his hand luggage, "I didn't think we were doing gifts. Or that I would see you again before next year."

"Don't worry about it," Jenson said, placing his hand on Kevin's shoulder, "It's nothing much. Just something I had at home that I thought you might like."

Kevin smiled, the warmth of Jenson's hand weakening his knees. He decided that perhaps he could start with his New Years resolution already and stepped closer to the Brit, placing a hand, gently on his hip and pulling him in.

Jenson moved his arm around Kevin's neck and wrapped him in an embrace, lightly touching his lips against the top of the Dane's head.

"I'll miss you," he whispered, "Promise you'll keep in touch."

Kevin could feel Jenson's breath in his hair and he smiled, pulling himself back from the embrace to look into the Brit's eyes.

"I promise," he said, lifting his head slightly and moving towards Jenson until their lips touched lightly.

It was a short kiss, but Kevin devoured every millisecond of it, wishing for more but knowing that they were in too public a place.

Jenson pulled back, glancing around to make sure that nobody had seen.

"You should go through to your gate," he said, his fingers sliding down Kevin's arms and lightly linking through Kevin's, "You don't want to miss your flight."

"Don't I?" Kevin replied quietly, wanting to pull Jenson back in and insist that he take him home.

"No, you don't," Jenson said, looking into his eyes as he let go of his fingers, "Your parents will want to see you and I don't want them to be mad at me because you don't turn up!"

Kevin nodded, smiling sadly at Jenson as he imagined what his parents would make of him dating his team mate. His mother probably wouldn't mind so much - although she was often talking about wanting Grandchildren - but he was sure his father would find it hard to come to terms with.

An announcement for the gate number of his flight broke Kevin's day-dream and he realised that he really had to leave now.

"I'll miss you," he said to Jenson, echoing the Brits words from earlier, "I'll text you as soon as I land!"

He brushed his lips lightly against Jenson's cheek as they hugged a final time and then he rushed towards security, not daring to look back in case he changed his mind.

Jenson watched him leave, not moving from the spot he was stood on until Kevin was completely out of sight. Part of him wanted to run after Kevin and stop him from leaving - that would be what happened if their lives were from a movie - but he forced himself to turn around and head back to the car. 

He just hoped that Kevin didn't think the gift was strange - hopefully it would at least make him smile.


	10. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenson and Kevin both spend Christmas with their families.

Jenson had headed back to his mother’s house for Christmas where he was joined by his sisters to spend their first festive season since their father passed away. He was happy to spend time with his family again. So much of his time was spent touring the world as he raced with McLaren, so despite the technology centre being based in his home country, he probably saw his family less than his team. He knew they were all busy with their own lives and unable to head out to watch him race, but he often wished his mother and sisters were as supportive as his father had been.

He’d not heard from Kevin since a brief text to let him know that the Dane had landed safely. He wasn't too worried - he knew that he’d have heard if anything serious had happened - but he did miss their contact. Jenson would pull his phone out of his pocket, imagining it had vibrated, only be disappointed to see there was no message or call. He’d sent a few messages himself, but had no reply. It was unlike Kevin, but he guessed that he was making the most of his time at home. He was trying not to get too upset about it.

As he wandered down the stairs, smelling the familiar scent of his mother’s Christmas dinner wafting through from the kitchen, he could hear hushed voices talking with concern.

“He seemed so happy when he first arrived,” his mother said, “But now he seems so distant. His smile has gone, his brow is always wrinkled.”

“Perhaps he just misses Dad,” his sister Natasha replied, “I know we all do, but it must be harder for him, you know, being male and all.”

His sister finished her sentence as though it was a question. His mother didn't reply. They all missed John. The family home felt so much more empty without his presence, but that wasn't why Jenson was so down. It was a part, but he knew that the whole family were trying to put on a happy face to get through this first year a little easier.

He tried to plaster a smile on his face as he walked through the door.

“Merry Christmas, everyone!” he said, wiggling a cloth sack that was full of gifts for his family, “Santa left some presents in my room!”

His sisters shared a look as he placed the bag of presents onto the table and handed out the gifts. They all knew what they were getting, he always insisted on knowing what his family wanted rather than just buying surprises. 

That was what worried him so much about Kevin's silence - he'd given him a surprise and he was worried that his boyfriend hadn't liked it.

\----

Kevin was enjoying his time back in Denmark with his parents. He had woken on Christmas morning to the smell of his mother's cooking and his father singing Christmas songs at the top of his voice. He had attempted to send Jenson a 'Merry Christmas' text, but Santa had not bought him a signal, despite it being top of his list.

His phones outbox was filled with unsent messages to the Englishman. He was a little bit worried about how Jenson would react when his phone finally found signal and sent them all at once. That would probably be this afternoon, when he and his parents headed into town to visit his Nan.

Kevin had left the present from Jenson in his room and spent the morning laughing with his family and opening the gifts. Just before lunch time he had excused himself to head upstairs and finally tear into the package.

He held it in his palm a while, trying to guess what the Brit had given him. It was a fairly light present and it felt squishy, like something material. He guessed it was probably clothing and was a little bit worried that it was going to be some sort of kinky underwear that he was going to have to hide from his parents.

Finally plucking up the courage he tore the paper open and was surprised to see the familiar McLaren logo staring up at him. He smiled, pulling out one of the old team tshirts, immediately able to smell the scent of his boyfriend that clung to the material. 

He held the shirt in front of him, smiling at the bottom left corner which had a small British flag and the name 'Jenson Button' running up the side. Gathering the material into his arms, he moved it towards his face and breathed in the scent that he loved so much, closing his eyes to imagine that he was leaning against Jenson's chest as he inhaled again.

Quickly, he removed his own tshirt and pulled Jenson's over his head, allowing the material to cling to his skin as it slid down his torso. He walked to the mirror and admired how he looked in the tshirt. With a huge grin fixed on his face, he snapped a quick selfie and composed another message to add to his outbox.

 _Best. Christmas Present. Ever._ he wrote _I will treasure it always._

The message beeped to say it had failed to send, but Kevin knew it wouldn't be long until he was within range of the phone mast. 

He headed back downstairs and joined his parents at the dinner table.

"Isn't that last years team shirt, Kevin?" his mother asked, pointing towards the Mercedes logo on the right of his chest, "Haven't they given you a new one yet?"

Kevin smiled, and was about to reply when his father cut in.

"Why does it say 'Jenson Button' on it as well?"

\----

Christmas evening arrived quickly for Jenson, who had started drinking just after lunch and decided not to bother stopping until he fell asleep. His sisters had spent the day showing off their new jewelry and had now each headed to their boyfriends houses to spend the evening with their families. He found himself staring at his phone in the lounge with his mother, whilst she watched the Christmas soaps.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, his phone vibrated. He was about to open the text, when it vibrated again. It was vibrating so violently, Jenson was worried it would break. 

After a few minutes, it finally stopped and looking at the screen, Jenson read _'51 new messages from Kev'_.

Confused, he opened the first one:

_Hope you're having a nice break. Mum just made me soup. It wasn't as good as yours._

The second read:

_Actually it was quite good. I missed her cooking._

The third message bought a smile to Jenson's face:

_FUCKING SHITTY SIGNAL IN THIS HOUSE SEND YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT MESSAGES._

He continued reading through the message, his smile growing bigger with each one. He laughed aloud at a few of them and had to make up excuses when his mother questioned what was so funny.

The final message made Jenson's heart swell. It was a selfie of the Dane wearing the t-shirt he had given him and a huge grin on his face. Jenson smiled and saved the picture to his phone, setting it as his background so he could see it every time he received a message. He stared at his phone for a while, a huge smile playing on his lips as he day-dreamed about how different Christmas would have been if Kevin had stayed with him.

"I don't know who that was that was texting you, son," his mother said, breaking his day-dream, "But I'm glad they've put that smile back on your face."


	11. Changing Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin heads out to Barcelona for pre season testing but Jenson has changed over Christmas and he’s not really sure whether he likes it...

Christmas passed quickly, and Kevin spent a lot of time visiting family and friends before he had to head out to Barcelona for testing. He had been tempted to book flights to Jerez so that he could see Jenson sooner, but he knew he'd have a tough time explaining why he was there to the team. Especially since they'd expressly told him he wasn't required - they wanted to focus on getting Fernando and Jenson acquainted with the new engines.

He had called Jenson a few times over the break, managing to take trips into town to get enough signal to get in contact. They had chatted about their time over Christmas and Kevin had explained about the signal around his parents home, and how they refused to get a better internet connection. Jenson had seemed very happy that Kevin liked his present.

The flight from Denmark to Barcelona was a relatively short one and Kevin passed the time excitedly thinking about Jenson. It would be the first time since they'd kissed that they would be at work together and he was worried that something would go wrong. He wanted to be happy with Jenson, but he also wanted to keep his job and his chances in Formula 1 secure. 

Just before he had boarded the flight, his father had warned him to keep up the hard work. He knew that now he was reserve driver he had to prove himself again. He had to keep up his work ethic and show that he still wanted to be part of the team. If he could prove he was good enough, he'd get the seat back as soon as one was available.

When the flight landed, Kevin switched his phone on and immediately a text message from his boyfriend pinged through to the phone.

_Sorry, can't make it to the airport. Will meet you later. Sorry xx_

Kevin's heart deflated, knowing that there would be a good reason for Jenson not being able to meet him, but not being able to stop himself feeling sad that he had to wait a little longer to feel his warm arms around him.

He got off the plane slowly, collecting his luggage with a heavy heart before heading to the taxi rank to find the chauffeur. He cheered up slightly, when the friendly driver met him, stifling a chuckle as he took his luggage and opened the door for him, unlike Jenson had a month or so ago.

The drive to the hotel was refreshing in comparison to the cold and snow covered countryside that Kevin had spent the last month in. Beautiful views backed by a gloriously blue sky, with only light white clouds dotting across in the breeze led the way to the hotel. The city was alive, and whilst it wasn't summer temperatures it was nice enough not to need the thermal clothing he'd been used to wearing in the UK and Denmark. Kevin had to resist taking his jumper off for fear of looking strange to the locals who considered this warm temperature wintery.

As the car pulled up to the hotel, Kevin caught a quick glimpse of Jenson heading into the lobby, surrounded by paparazzi and media. The Brit looked different somehow. Kevin couldn't quite put his finger on it. Maybe it was just the light? He certainly looked a little different to what Kevin remembered. Perhaps he had just put on a little extra weight over Christmas - he had mentioned how lovely his mother's cooking was.

\--

Later that evening, after the hustle of checking in and making sure he knew his schedule for the week, Kevin settled onto the bed to watch a DVD and relax in his room. The DVD had just started when somebody knocked on his door. He dragged himself from the bed, tidying up some clothing that had been strewn across the floor, and opened the door.

The man before him was definitely Jenson Button, but now that Kevin could see him up close, there was definitely something different about him. Kevin raised an eyebrow but kept quiet, moving aside to let the Englishman step into the room before closing the door behind him. He stared a little more, not quite sure what to say or whether he liked this new change.

Jenson ignored the look on his face and pulled Kevin into a hug, kissing the top of his head in a way that head become familiar between them. Wrapped in his boyfriends arms, Kevin let himself dissolve into the embrace, breathing in scent that had gradually faded from the tshirt that was gifted to him at Christmas.

"I missed you," Kevin eventually said, breaking the silence.

"I missed you, too," Jenson replied, not releasing the Dane from his grip.

They stood by the hotel room door in a tight embrace for some time, Kevin appreciating the moment and Jenson happy to have the man he had missed so much back in his arms.

Eventually Jenson let go, taking Kevin's hand in his own and walking into the room. He perched on the edge of the bed looked up at the Dane. Kevin's face returned to the confused look, staring back down at Jenson with a knitted brow.

"What's up?" Jenson asked, pulling him closer, so that Kevin's legs were stood between his own.

He reached around and pinched his backside, trying to get a grin to form on Kevin's face. The Dane didn't reply, just staring back at Jenson as though not quite believing he was there. Kevin tilted his head, his eyes barely blinking as he stared at the Englishman's face as thought examining every tiny detail.

Jenson pushed him back and stood up, placing his arms on the Dane's shoulders as he looked into his eyes.

"Kevin, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice full of concern, "Are you okay?"

Kevin stared blankly at Jenson for a while before he shook his head to try and clear it. He glanced back into Jenson's eyes before dropping his gaze towards his lips, a small smile playing on his own because he finally spoke.

"Can I touch your moustache?"


	12. Testing Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin is in Barcelona for testing, but McLaren don't require him until the last couple of days so he's keeping up with what is going on via twitter from his hotel room...

Kevin was left at the hotel for the first couple of days of testing in Barcelona. The team had requested he stay out of the way and let Fernando and Jenson have some more time familiarising themselves with the cars, promising that he'd get his chance for the last two days.

He hadn't had the heart to go out and look around the town, deciding instead to spend his time between the hotel gym and the TV at the end of the bed in his room. He didn't really understand half of the TV shows he watched, most of them were in Spanish, but he found comfort in the noise whilst he lay on the bed day-dreaming about how testing would be going if he hadn't been demoted to reserve driver.

It was during the second day, after stepping out of the shower following a session in the gym, that he picked up his phone and tapped onto twitter. He scrolled through the tweets to see how the testing was going and what peoples opinions were. He was shocked to find that his timeline was a-buzz with tweets about a crash.

He sat on the bed, the towel falling down to his waist, and clicked onto some of the articles. They were all mentioning Fernando and his car going off the track. He refreshed the feed, hoping that McLaren would tweet and provide some more information, but he was greeted with worse news. The Formula 1 media and other teams were tweeting about medical attention and helicopters. With each refresh, the situation seemed to get worse until suddenly there were images posted of a driver on a stretcher being rushed to a helicopter.

Without thinking, Kevin dropped his phone to the bed and threw on a pair of jeans and his McLaren t-shirt, grabbing his drivers pass and his phone and wallet before dashing out of the room. His heart was racing, panic gripping his throat as he anxiously willed the elevator down to the lobby to hurry.

Luckily, there was a taxi waiting outside the hotel entrance, so Kevin jumped in and told the driver to rush to the track, each moment on the journey causing the Dane to worry more and more. The thoughts running through his head weren't pretty, most of them taking him back to Suzuka and the crash that had ended with Jules in hospital. 

He breathing quickened, as the taxi pushed its way through crowds of media and paparazzi that were surrounding the track complex. Formula 1 officials were barring their entry and others were giving statements, their faces grim and serious. 

The taxi drove Kevin right up to the entrance to the paddock, were he threw some notes from his wallet at the driver and raced into the complex. He looked up and down the long corridor, hoping he could find someone that could guide him to the McLaren garage. His heart was pounding and tears were forming in his eyes as he tried not to imagine his team mate in hospital.

He raced up and down the corridor, throwing doors open but finding nobody that could help him. He found himself back at the main entrance which was empty and collapsed on the floor. Tears streamed from his eyes and no matter how hard he tried to push himself back to his feet he couldn't stand. He needed to find someone from his team. He needed to know that it was going to be OK. 

Within seconds of hitting the ground, he felt strong arms lifting him from the floor and wrapping around him. He clung to the t-shirt that smelled so familiar, his tears dropping into his own lap uncontrollably.

"Its OK, Kev. It's OK," Jenson's voice whispered in his ears, followed by a soft kiss on the top of his head, "Come on. Sssh, calm down. Try to breath. Ssshh."

Jenson's soothing voice and arms around him helped Kevin to relax, calming him enough to concentrate on breathing properly to give him the strength to stand. He clung to the Englishman, not daring to let go in case something happened to him as well.

"What happened?" he ask, his voice croaking from the tears, "Is Fernando OK?"

"I don't know," Jenson admitted, his voice glum, "They've taken him to hospital. He was conscious, but I don't know what happened."

Kevin slumped back into Jenson's arms again. The Brit used his own body to support Kevin's weight and walked him over to a bench in the reception area where they could sit down.

"All I can think of is Jules," Kevin whispered as he rested his head on Jensons' shoulder as he stroked his hair, "I can't go through that again."

Tears still dripped from his eyes, and Jenson raised his hand and wiped them away with his thumb.

"We could go to the hospital and see Fernando if it would make you feel better?" Jenson suggested, as Kevin finally managed to sit up and support himself.

He wasn't sure if they would be allowed in to see Fernando if something serious had happened, but Kevin nodded, rubbing his damp eyes with the backs of his hands and looking sadly at his friend for more comforting words, so he decided to roll with it.

"Come on," Jenson said, standing and offering Kevin a hand to get up, "I've got the car, we can drive there."

Jenson helped Kevin to the car, his arm wrapped around his waist for support as the younger driver was still shaking with shock. He opened the door and made sure Kevin was settled in the passenger seat before closing it behind him and climbing into the drivers seat.

The drive to the hospital was quiet but for the sniffling from Kevin's nose as he tried to stop it from running. Whenever his hand wasn't needed for changing gear or the handbrake, Jenson would rest it on top of Kevin's, rubbing calming circles of reassurance with his thumb.

When they pulled up in the car park, Kevin suddenly found his strength again and climbed out of the car and headed to the hospital entrance faster than Jenson could keep up. By the time the Brit had locked the car and followed him into the reception area, Kevin had already found out the ward that Fernando had been taken to.

"Just up the stairs and the second corridor on the left," the receptionist said, "The nurses at the desk there will be able to help you."

The pair took the stairs two at a time and jogged down to the desk that they had been directed to. Once there, the nurse showed them to a private booth at the bottom end of the corridor and let them inside with a warning not to be too loud.

Inside the room they found lots of machines bleeping and whirring, between which they found Fernando smiling back at them. His eyes were slightly dazed, not quite seeming to focus on them properly, but he was definitely alive and Kevin released a huge sigh of relief at the sight of him.

"Come in," Fernando croaked, beckoning them towards the bed and wincing in pain.

"Are you OK?" Kevin asked, rushing to his side as he noticed the grimace, "Should I get the nurse?"

"I'm fine, Kevin," Fernando said, his voice deep and emotionless, "Just a bit sore. They think I have a concussion."

"Kev was pretty worried," Jenson told the Spaniard, wrapping his arm around his boyfriend and rubbing his arm, "We won't stop long, just wanted to make sure you were OK."

"What do you mean you're not stopping long?" Fernando wheezed, wincing at the volume of his own voice, "I've got to stay awake for twenty-four hours to prove I'm alive and well, you can keep me company."

He patted the bed on either side of him and Kevin grinned up at Jenson. The Brit rolled his eyes and walked to the other side of the bed, both of the visitors climbing in alongside Fernando who laughed and wrapped them both in a hug kissing them both on the tops of their heads.

"You're very good friends," he said, solemnly, "I'm glad that you're my team mates. Kimi would never have climbed in the bed so willingly."

Kevin smiled, snuggling into the hospital duvet and closing his eyes, exhausted from all the crying and upset that had filled his day so far. Fernando grinned down at him, pulling him in closer so that his head rested on his chest and used the arm that was wrapped around the Dane to rub his back. Jenson looked across from the opposite side of the bed and grinned.

"Oi, if we're going to stay, you can stop feeling up my boyfriend, thank you very much."


	13. Another Lost Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fernando is not allowed to race in Australia so Kevin takes his place.

The first race of the season came around faster than the McLaren team had anticipated. Fernando had been warned by his doctors not to race and decided to go on holiday instead, leaving the car free for Kevin to drive.

Kevin and Jenson had flown out to Melbourne together early and spent a few days taking in the sights and reminiscing about the great race that Kevin had there the year before. They sent regular messages to Fernando to tell him how they were getting on, and he sent photos back of his own adventures.

Kevin had been getting more and more excited about his chance to race again. Having little preparation was not going to stop him from proving that he was a good driver. Jenson had been encouraging him and giving him tips on how to handle the new engine whilst they dined together in posh restaurants and sunbathed on the beach.

As soon as race time came around though, the fun stopped. Jenson and Kevin barely saw each other during the weekend and car just wasn't up to scratch. They both managed to qualify at the back of the grid, but that was were Kevin's time back in a formula 1 car came to an end.

During the installation lap, his car packed in and he'd walked back to the garage and changed into jeans and t-shirt before the race had even hit it's fifth lap. The engineers on his side of the garage were quickly looking through data to see what had happened, but Kevin didn't want to stay around much longer. It was another kick in the teeth - his chance to prove he deserved to win his place back ruined.

He headed back to the hotel before the race ended, wandering quietly up to his room and sliding into a nice hot bubble bath, his iPad propped on the toilet so he could see the live race timing. He was pleased to see that Jenson was having an OK race and especially glad when his team mate crossed the finish line, even if he was last of the drivers to finish.

When the race had ended, he dragged himself out of the bath and dried off, putting on some comfortable clothing and sending a quick text to Jenson:

_Well done, proud of you._

He didn't really feel like saying more, his heart still sat in the pit of his stomach after not even managing to start the race. He sat on the bed, waiting anxiously for a reply, hoping that Jenson would suggest they meet up. He lay down on the bed, a pillow cuddled in his arms as he stared at his phone screen, willing for it to buzz.

\---

Jenson strolled into the garage after the race ended and was high-fived by all his engineers. He'd rarely performed so badly in his whole Formula 1 career, but with the car they had, finishing a race was a great achievement. His grin was plastered on his face as he looked around for Kevin, but it slowly faded when he saw that he wasn't there. 

Kevin's side of the garage was mostly packed away, just a few engineers left looking through sheets of data and pointing at the car with confused and exasperated expressions. Jenson figured that Kevin must have left already. He was sad that Kevin hadn't stuck around to see him finish, but he knew he'd have wanted to get away if his own car had stopped before the race.

It was some time before Jenson finally left the garage, having to speak with press and attend the debriefing. There were lots of fans outside the garage and much as he wanted to get back to the hotel, he stopped to sign autographs and have photos taken. He knew that his fans would travel long distances just to see him, so he owed them that, especially after their support over the uncertainty of his career at the end of the last season.

By the time he left the circuit, the sun had long set and it was late at night. He arrived at the hotel, pushing his way through the media, with an empty stomach and a desperate need for a shower. Despite this though, he thought it would be best go to check on Kevin. He knew the young driver needed all the support he could get and he'd be especially upset over this being a chance to prove himself.

He dragged himself into the hotel lift and pressed the button for Kevin's floor, looking forward to having the blonde Dane in his arms again after the exhaustion of the day.

\---

Kevin had laid on the bed staring at his phone for what felt like hours. The sky outside had gone through purples, reds and oranges until it was black and the moon had risen. 

There was no text from Jenson. 

He'd seen photos on twitter and even searched on Jenson's username to see fans tweeting about meeting him, but he'd not replied to Kevin.

Without the lights on in his room, Kevin dropped off, his eyes closing heavily and his breath turning to delicate snores as he forget about the day and his phone and fell into happier dreams. 

When the knock finally came on the door, Kevin was so far into a dream of warm suns and beach holidays that he didn't wake. The knocking persisted but Kevin didn't rouse from his dreams, only rolling over and letting the phone drop from his grip.

Eventually the knocking the stopped and Kevin slept on, completely unaware.


	14. Shooting Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after the race and Kevin spends the day avoiding reality while Jenson searches the hotel in hope of finding him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've not updated this in a while. I'm just going to post chapters as I get inspiration for them now. I kinda reach a point where shipping Kevin with anyone made me cringe a bit but I think I'm getting over it and I enjoyed writing this chapter.

Jenson had spent the Monday after the race wandering around the hotel complex hoping to bump into Kevin. When he'd returned to his room the night before and found his phone on the side, he'd seen the congratulatory text from Kevin. It had been almost six hours since the message had been sent and he didn't reply, wondering where Kevin was or whether he was sleeping.

He'd hoped to see the Dane in breakfast to check that he was OK. He'd gone down to the restaurant at the earliest moment and eaten as slowly as he could, but Kevin never showed. He was flying out to Malaysia the next day and as the evening drew in and the sky filled with darkness he gave up hope of seeing him before their McLaren duties for the next race.

The rest of his team were heading out for one last night of fun in Australia, but Jenson didn't really feel like it. He waved them off at the hotel lobby and headed outside to the poolside, laying down on a sun bed in the darkness and staring up at the sky.

It was almost pitch black by the pool, only a few lights marking the edges of the water and glowing through the curtains of hotel rooms. Looking upwards, Jenson could see thousands of stars, more than he'd ever seen before. Back in the UK there was so much light pollution and cloud you were lucky to see a couple of stars per night, but here you could almost see the galaxy.

He pulled a blanket from the sun bed next to him and placed it over himself for warmth and lay looking up into the sky. He'd never seen a shooting star before and heard they were fairly common in this area, so he decided to keep an eye out and see if he could spot one.

\----

Kevin had been hiding in his room all day watching films and trashy TV shows. He had glanced at his phone a few times, hoping that Jenson would reply, but he'd heard nothing. 

He'd skipped breakfast, choosing to stay in bed and have a nice lie in before a long piping hot shower to wake himself up.

As the day drew on, he ordered room service and ate alone, avoiding social media and news stations in case there were reports on the race and his failure to start. He knew deep down that it wasn't his fault, but it still stung the way the media would portray things and the last thing his downward spiralling career needed was a kick in the teeth like this.

As evening fell, he decided to get some fresh air and left his room, taking the lift down to the lobby and out into the night by the pool. He assumed that Jenson had already taken a flight to Malaysia - as far as Kevin knew he had no media commitments today - and so wasn't worried about the awkwardness of bumping into him after the ignored text.

He sat down on a sun bed, resting his head in his hands and rubbing his hair, and released a long sigh.

"Hello," a familiar voice said from the darkness beside him, causing him to jump up in fright.

Kevin scanned the area around him, eyes wide and alert but couldn't see anything beside sun beds.

"I'm here," the voice said half laughing, accompanied by the sound of movement.

Kevin noticed one of the sunbeds moving and Jenson's face appeared above the blanket that was laid on top of it.

"Oh, Hi," Kevin was glad that it was dark as he was sure his cheeks were burning red with embarrassment, "Why were you hiding?"

"I wasn't," Jenson replied, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders as he sat up on the sun bed, "Are you OK? I haven't seen you since before the race."

Jenson's eyes were glancing between Kevin and the sky as though expecting something to fall from above at any moment. Kevin glanced up, but all he saw were stars.

"I'm OK. Disappointed I didn't make more of the chance this weekend," he replied, shrugging his shoulders, "Why didn't you text back last night?"

He sat back down on the sun bed, wringing his fingers together and avoiding eye contact with Jenson, afraid to see the truth in his eyes if his answer was something Kevin didn't want to hear.

"I left my phone in my room," he explained, "It was gone midnight when I got back to the room. I knocked on your door but you didn't answer. I figured you were either mad at me or wanted to be alone, so I didn't reply..."

Jenson's voice trailed off and Kevin could tell he felt bad about not replying now. He hadn't realised that Jenson had knocked on the door, he must have fallen into a deep sleep.

"I... I didn't hear you knock," Kevin said quietly, looking up to see that Jenson had laid back down again and was staring up at the sky.

They sat in silence for sometime, Kevin wondering if Jenson was going to speak again and Jenson staring intently at the sky, glad for the company even if he was quiet.

"What are you looking for?" Kevin asked eventually, tired of staring at Jenson's face.

The Brit had barely blinked the entire time, his eyes focused on the sky, darting from left to right.

"Shooting stars," Jenson replied, as though it was obvious, "I've never seen one before, they're supposed to be fairly common here."

Kevin looked up at the sky, examining the stars again.

"You've never seen one?" he asked, "I've seen a few back in Denmark. They're quite quick so you have to keep your eye out."

Jenson laughed and flipped the blanket to expose the side of the sun bed.

"You could help me look if you like," he said, tapping the space next to him and grinning.

Kevin rose from the bed he was sat on and removed his shoes to slide in beside Jenson who dropped the blanket back over him. Kevin rested his head on Jenson's shoulder and stared up at the sky, not blinking until his eyes began to water in case he missed anything.

"It's on my bucket list to see a shooting star," Jenson said, smiling as Kevin got comfortable and added some warmth under the blanket.

Kevin didn't reply, already engrossed in the search for shooting stars. Jenson turned his head, half expecting to find the Dane asleep on his shoulder already, but instead, he found him beady eyed and alert, concentrating on the sky.

Jenson forgot about the stars suddenly and lay with his eyes turned on Kevin, watching his light breathing and enjoying the way the light of the stars made the younger driver's eyes sparkle and glitter.

"THERE'S ONE," Kevin shouted suddenly, bolting upright on the sun bed and turning to Jenson who jumped at the sound, "Did you see it?"

Inside, Jenson cursed himself for not paying attention to the sky, but deep down he knew that time with Kevin was worth all the shooting stars in the world.

"Beautiful," he replied, wrapping Kevin in his arms and kissing him, happily enveloped together in the darkness where nobody could see them.


	15. Solutions at Silverstone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silverstone comes and Jenson crashes out on the first lap. Luckily he has Kevin to care for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, firstly sorry that this has been a long time being updated. secondly, i've written this as a VERY rubbish ending to this fic. it's not the end of this ship though, i'm going to start a series similar to my Toro Brosso series and just write fluffy one-shots for them. the main reason i stopped writing was that i was trying to follow canon and there just wasn't all that much interaction between them so i ran out of ideas.
> 
> so, this is the last chapter and it's a bit of a random ending with a huge gap since the last chapter, but at least i don't need to worry about finding prompts or inspiration that follow on anymore and i can go back to enjoying writing this pairing. maybe just imagine all the fluff they've been secretly getting up to at race weekends between australia and now.

Jenson had crashed out already. Everyone had been so excited that the Williams' drivers had such a positive start that it had taken a while to realise that Jenson was in the gravel at turn 3. Kevin could hear the engineers angrily arguing about what had happened and cursing the Lotus drivers.

He looked back down at his phone, flicking through his replies. People were sending him fan selfies from all over the world - some with their team shirts on, some slobbing in bed, some with their pets. He swung his legs, kicking his feet against the door of the cupboard he was sat on as he retweeted a few, ignoring the commotion that was happening outside the garage.

When Kevin finally looked up, Jenson was back in the garage. He'd placed his helmet on the side and removed his head cover. His hair was sticking up all over the place and he looked more upset than usual. He'd walked back to the pits a few times this year, but he'd never looked on the verge of tears before.

Kevin didn't even think about it. He jumped down from the cupboard and strode over to Jenson, wrapping his arms around the Brits neck and pulling him into a hug. Jenson wrapped his arms tightly around the Dane, breathing deeply and trying to stop the tears from flowing.

"I just wanted a clean race," he whispered, "For my home crowd."

Kevin felt Jenson start to shake and could hear from his breathing that he'd started to cry. He lifted his arm, stroking Jenson's hair as he rubbed his back ad tried to sooth him. There were camera's and press at the bottom of the garage, all watching the interaction and the teams engineers were casting confused glances as the two drivers clung to one another.

A screen caught Kevin's attention as he rested his head against Jenson's, quietly 'shh'ing him like his mother had done when he was upset as a child. It showed Jenson walking back into the garage before flicking back to live and showing the pair, hugging in the centre of the garage. He could hear the commentary, questioning what was going on and whether the were normally so touchy with one another.

Kevin didn't care. His heart was aching for Jenson - he couldn't push him away when he needed him most. When Kevin had lost his seat, Jenson had been there for him and that was how all of this had started. Now it was his turn. Jenson was having a rubbish year and he'd already been talking about whether it might be his last and how disappointing a finish to his career it would be. He squeezed the Brit tighter, planting a light kiss on his ear and ignoring the gasps of the press.

"Sorry," Kevin whispered, keeping his mouth close to Jenson's ear as the Brit leaned into him, sniffling.

"It's not your fault," Jenson replied, wiping a tear from his eye before wrapping his arm back around the younger driver.

"I meant... for not thinking before I hugged you," Kevin said, "There are... a lot of cameras."

Jenson was silent for a few moments and Kevin listened to his breathing, closing his eyes to block out the people that were surrounding them and fully enjoy the feel of Jenson holding him.

"It doesn't matter," the Brit finally whispered, "I needed this hug more than their approval."

Kevin couldn't help but smile at the words. His heart soaring because Jenson needed him and he wasn't angry for his actions. He could barely stop himself from kissing Jenson right there and then, but he forced himself just to place his lips on Jenson's hair and stroke his back again - he wasn't sure how the press would handle a full-on garage make out.

"Boys? Can you come with me."

Ron's voice caused them both to jolt their eyes open and look around in shock. The team principle stood in the doorway at the back of the garage, pointing into the corridor. Kevin glanced at Jenson who nodded for him to lead the way and they both followed him in silence to the trailer in the paddock.

"Are you OK, Jenson?" Ron asked, once they were both seated on the sofa opposite him.

Jenson nodded, glancing at Kevin with a questioning look in his eyes. Kevin had no idea what this impromptu meeting was about. He'd assumed Ron was going to shout at them for their actions in the garage, but the team boss seemed calm and collected, more concerned than angry.

"And you too, Kevin?" Ron asked.

"I'm fine," Kevin replied, "Are you OK?"

Ron looked at his hands, tangling his fingers together and releasing a long breath before he looked up at his drivers and spoke again.

"Yes, yes. I'm fine," Ron said, as though that wasn't really important, "I... I have to ask you both something though."

He glanced at each of Kevin and Jenson in turn, making eye-contact with both before he continued.

"Is there something... between you two?" he asked, "Something that is more than just friendship between team mates."

Kevin looked at his feet, not sure how to reply and wondering what Jenson would want him to say, but the Brit jumped in straight away, his tear-stained face serious as he spoke.

"Yes," he said, reaching over and gripping Kevin's hand, "And I'm sorry if you don't like it but I can't help how I feel. I think Kevin feels the same."

Jenson glanced across at Kevin, who smiled and nodded, too afraid to speak and not sure if he'd be able to form words even if he tried. Kevin was worried about what Ron would say next. Would he stop them from being together? Would he sack one of them?

When Kevin finally braved a glance at Ron's face, the team principle was smiling. The smile reached his eyes and Kevin could tell it was sincere - it didn't look like the type of smile someone would give if they were about to break someone's heart.

"I suspected, even this time last year, that there was more than just friendship between you two," he said leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees.

Kevin felt a weight lift from his shoulders at Ron's words and the knot in his throat released, allowing him to finally speak.

"None of this really started until after I lost my seat," he said, watching as Ron's face seemed surprised.

"Really?" Ron asked, "I was surprised you didn't turn up to the Christmas Party together as a date, to be honest. I noticed that you both disappeared though..."

Ron's voice trailed off and Kevin couldn't help but grin at the memory of that first night when he'd realised how he felt about Jenson. The Brit sat beside him, flushed red and Kevin know he was thinking the same.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter to me," Ron said, slapping his knees and pushing himself to his feet, "As long as you're happy together that is the main thing. It's been hard this year so far and you've both been coping well. It's good to know that you've had each other to lean on. And thank you for stopping the niggling in my mind wondering if you really were closer than it seemed."

He walked to the trailer door before turning around again.

"I'll leave it up to you to speak with the press," he said, "If they ask me anything I'll say you're close friends."

Jenson smiled at Ron as he left the trailer, closing the door behind him and giving them some privacy. Kevin sank into Jenson's arms, enjoying the warmth and comfort the Brit gave him before he stood and straddled across Jenson's lap, leaning down and placing a rough kiss against his mouth.

Their lips moved together, tongues entwining as they tasted each other. Kevin's hand tangled in Jenson's hair which was still a mess from removing his head cover after his race ended. Kevin could taste the remains of the salty tears that had run down Jenson's face as he kissed his cheeks, his eyes, his jaw.

Jenson reached up and cupped Kevin's face, pulling him back and looking deep into the younger drivers eyes, drinking in the sea-blue colour as he smiled at his boyfriend.

"Should we tell the media?" he whispered, pulling Kevin further up his lap and stroking his backside with his thumb.

"I think we should leave them guessing a bit longer," Kevin replied, leaning down again and brushing his lips against Jenson's, sighing with happiness.

He moved his head down, resting it on Jenson's chest and breathing in the familiar post race smell of sweat that he'd grown used to in their secret meetings. He closed his eyes, curling up tightly in a ball and allowing Jenson to wrap his arms around him protectively.

Jenson sighed happily, a smile he couldn't remove glued to his face despite the disappointment of his race. He rubbed his hand up Kevin's back before stroking the younger drivers hair as he thought back to the conversation with Ron. He chuckled to himself as he imagined Ron's confusion for the past year.

"I just can't believe Ron figured it all out before we did."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you again to everyone that read this. i'm sorry for the long hiatus, but please rest assured i won't make you wait so long for more J-Mag fluff. :)


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